Turtles and Immortals
by EvilLydia
Summary: This is a completely ridiculous idea that my brother and I came up with. Isaac and Miria were kidnapped by the Krang and the turtles came to rescue them.


This is a crack that my brother, Toby, and I came up with, please forgive to totally ridiculousness of it (and the little details that might not make complete sense). I own nothing, Baccano is the property of Ryogo Narita and TMNT was created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. I am a big fan of Baccano! but I don't really know much about TMNT and Toby is a fan of TMNT but doesn't really know anything about Baccano! so if some of the details are wrong, well that's the reason. Unlike most of my other stories, I didn't really do any research for this one.  
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Isaac woke up on a cement floor, his 70's disco outfit was dirty and wrinkled. His hands were tied behind his back and he was blindfolded, making everything pitch black. The last thing he remembered was walking home from a fun date with Miria, helping the helpless, when a set of triplets in suits attacked them.

"Miria!" he yelled as the realization that he had no idea where she was or if she was even OK dawned on him. ""Yes Isaac?" answered his female counterpart from somewhere beside him. He breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing her. "Let's get out of here."

After a fair amount of wiggling he got loose. This wasn't the first time he had been tied up. Stealing from the Mafia may not have been the best idea they have ever had. Once he was free he walked over to Miria to help her. She hadn't made much progress on her own.

Looking around the room in order to get his bearings, he noticed that there was nothing here but a door. When they didn't notice, or just chose to ignore, was the puddle of blood, mixed with something unidentifiable.

"Hey Isaac," says Miria. "Yes, Miria, my dear." he replied. "What are we doing in this room?" she asked. Without missing a beat he said, "This must be an alien space ship. the aliens took us because all of our good deeds. They must want us to save their planet." "But I'm not ready to leave yet." she said, taking everything he said as fact. "Neither am I so let's get out of here." she nodded.

Just as he was about to run at the room to ram it, it burst open. Through the door came four humanoid turtles. Each one had a different color mask and a unique weapon.

"Thank goodness," said the one in purple mask, "we got here in time. "Don't worry dudes, we're here to rescue you." said the one in orange, walking up to them.

Isaac leaned over and whispered loudly to Miria, "These must be the aliens," 'Oh" she replied. Standing up straight, he cleared his throat and addressed the 'turtles'. "My alien friends, we are honored that you chose us to help you. However our work here on Earth is not finished. We still have more happiness to spread on Earth. "Despite saying this with the utmost confidence, he had no idea what he was talking about.

Leo stopped up next to his brother and said, "I think you are mistaken, we're not aliens." "We're just turtles." interjected Donny. "Devilishly handsome turtles." added Mikey. "What?" he yelled after receiving a glare from his brothers. "My name is Leonardo. This is 'Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo." he said pointed to each of his brothers in turn

The couple leaned together and spoke in a loud whisper, "Miria," said the man, "I don't think they're aliens, just turtles," "Oh," she responded, "that's amazing. But isaac, I thought turtle couldn't talk." he nodded wisely, putting his hand on his chin to think.

The turtle stopped listening to them in favor of their own conversation. "Maybe we were too late after all." suggested Raph. "No," said Leo firmly," "They're obviously not mutated, just strange." "-but they are divishly hansome for turtles." they heard Miria say. "See." said Mikey.

The turtles couldn't help but staring at the odd duo. they had been told that they had been kidnapped because they held the secrte of eternal life but they suspected that these two didn't really have any sectrets at all. "I'm an Isaac, Isaac Dian." said the man proudly, pointing a thumb at his chest. The woman mimicked his movements and said, "I'm Miria Harvent." "Well, turtles," Isaac address them, they were both pointing a finger at them. "lead us out of here using your super sense of smell."

The look on the turtles faces was a combination of amusement and bewilderment. Mikey started to spin his finger by his head and, in a sing-song voice, whispered, "Crazy~" Raph couldn't help but snicker. "Will you stop!" scolded Donny.

"Alright, come on," Said Leo to the couple, holding out his hand, "We'll smell our way out for you." "What are you doing?" whispered Raph harshly, grabbing Leo's arm. "They're crazy but if they think we have super smell, we can pretend until we get out." The couple put their hands on their chins at the same time and nodded.

All six of them headed out the door, Leo taking the lead.

Isaac had brilliantly talked the turtle-things into getting them out. He was amazing. Miria knew that wherever she went it it would be OK as long as hew was with her. She didn't realize how extensive the building they were in was.

She ran into the turtle-thing that was in front of her when he stopped suddenly. Looking around him, she saw the same men that stopped them the night before. Only this time one was missing. "Stop, them, those two are necessary for the plan to succeed." One of them ordered the other. Several of their other twin brothers come to help them.

The turtles got ready to fight, so Isaac stepped in front of her to protect her. She couldn't see how the fight played out but it sounded rough. Isaac had wrapped his arms around her so her face was buried in his chest. It seemed like the fight went on for a very long time.

The darkness and sweet smell of Isaac was gone in a flash. One of the brothers grabbed him and took him away with a weird metal claw. Something weird happened to the brothers. They had squids inside them! She didn't know the turtle had squid powers too. She and Isaac would have to watch out.

Speaking of Isaac, he was gone now. She fell to her knees and started to cry for him. She suddenly felt a large, rough hand pulling her up. Though her tears she saw a turtle in the blue mask leading her through the halls. The other three were close behind. They were protecting her form the squid-brothers.

Turning suddenly, they went into a poorly lit closet. Leaning against the wall, she tried to caught her breath. "Don't worry miss," said the one in blue, "we'll save your boyfriend." He was poising with his hands on his hips and speaking in a heroic voice, "Totally dude, you can count on us." added the one in orange. Seeing all their encouraging faces she couldn't help but stop crying. "OK!" she exclaimed, the tears already dried.

It was a really long time ago, but she remember that there was one time that she and Isaac had been separated. At the time she had Jacuzzi and Nice and all of their friends to help her out. But they weren't here right now. In fact, she hadn't seen any of them for a long time. There were the turtle-things and they seemed nice and happy, so things can't be that bad, right? The universe wouldn't do that to her.

Raph watch as the overly strange woman stopped crying. That was the most relieving thing that happened today. As long as she stayed here she would probably be safe. He still didn't know why the Krang wanted with them. Aside from being completely crazy, there was nothing different about them.

"Look miss-us, I mean Miria," That was her name right? "We are going to get Ike back so stay here and wait for us, OK? After he said this she looked a little confused. Donny elbowed him and said, "He means Isaac, right?" His brother gave him an annoyingly stern look before continuing, "But he's right. Just wait here for us, you'll be safe, we promise."

Although she looked uneasy, she nodded and Raph led the way down the hall. The four of them were once again in formation, and with no one ot protect they could do their jobs without worrying about keeping them safe. It wasn't like he didn't want to help them but they were both useless.

Somewhere else, Isaac was strapped to a table and the squid-people were surrounding him. There were weird, sharp tools all around the table. Everything had happened so quickly, he had no clue what was going on.

Despite the terrifying situation, Isaac wasn't scared, well maybe a little. What really scared him was that him was that he left Miria alone with those turtle-things. Even though they did offer to help them, he noticed that they acted a little suspicious.

A sharp sting awoke him from his thoughts. He glanced down to see a large syringe sticking out of his arm. A pink tentacle wrapped around it. The syringe was filled with a thick green liquid. It had a faint glow to it. The tentacle withdrew the syringe and several of his 'captures watched.

There was a deep throbbing pain that started in his arm and was crawing upward. His head was pounding. He went to say something but his words got jumbled up before they could come out. When he turned to look at them his head seemed too heavy. He felt the throbbing in the core of his body. The world seemed to blur together. While he was trying to concentrate on the current situation his mind kept drifing to other things. Miria was always at the front of his thoughts.

At the same time, Miria was trying to be patient, she really was, but it seemed like her turtle-friends had been gone for a really long time. She tried to entertain herself with some of the weird things that were stored there but it was just cleaning supplies, which were very boring. Plus, the thought of her new turtle-friends fighting for her and Isaac all alone, she just couldn't let that happen.

But the squid-brothers were weird and strong metal claws. It wouldn't be bad if they took her to where Isaac was.

That's it! She would let herself be captured and then she and Isaac would be reunited. Then they could help out her new turtle-friends out. "Alright! she exclaimed, pumping her fists in the air. She flung the door open and took off in a random direction.

It just so happened to be the opposite direction that the turtles went, however Miria had no way of knowing this. Despite not hiding herself at all, nothing happened to her at all. She didn't let this faze her. She kept running, turning at random moments. This building was much larger then she first assumed. She would say she saw lsot now but she had actually been lost since she woke up. The only difference now, was Isaac wasn't with her now.

Along the way, she had found a room that she wanted to go into. However the door was locked with a red glowing keypad. For some reason Miria thought this was where she needed to be.

Looking around she managed to find a metal bar. Picking it up with both hands, she slammed the end with all her might. For some unknown reason it worked and the door popped open. As she stepped inside a look of disappointment swept across her face. Inside there was no Isaac. Incredibly it was the right place to be.

The walls unfolded to reveal a plethora of strange looking weapons. Here and there were spots where some of then had been taken "Oh Isaac, where are you?" she asked no one. She grabbed two big guns, one for herself and one for Isaac when she found him.

As she made to leave, a red light began to flash and a siren sounded. "Eep." squeaked Miria as she scampered out of the room.

Somewhere else in the building the turtles were still on the move. "Uh, dudes," said Mikey, pointed out the obvious alarms going off. Nodding, Leo said, "We have to go back for Miria!" "No." interrupted Raph. He received another glare from his brother. "Look, if we go back now we will probably run into a trap. But if we destroy the machine we can save them both." They others agreed.

"Let's hurry and save them!" shouted Mikey. "I still can't understand why they choose those two." said Donny, putting a hand under his chin.

On the other side of the building, Miria felt like she had been running forever and they didn't even attempt to kidnap her. Somehow the lack of attention, which should have been a good thing, was rather depressing. She slowed down and rested against the wall. The only thing she could do was try to think of a new plan. This was not her strong suit.

After a few moments she had something. She was going to ge into the next door she cam across and play with computers in there because, "because everyone these days had computers' she thought. She would use the computer to try and figure out where Isaac was. "If they won't com to me, I'll come to them." she said out loud.

It seemed all the doors had those little red keypads on them. Braking the keypad worked before so she thought it would work again. Raising one of the guns to eye level, and pulled the trigger. A strange purple ray shot from the end. The force of the gun knocked her on her backside. Scorch marks and frayed wores were all that remained where the keypad once was. The door, however, remained shut.

"Hey, no fair!" Miria pouted. After banging on the door for a while, she left in a foul mood. She felt a little add about everything without Isaac there. When they were together everything just seemed to fall into place.

She tried again at the next door she saw. This time it actually worked. Withing the room stood five squid-brothers. Beyond them, Isaac was laying dead on the table. Isaac was DEAD! How could his happen? How could she have lost him? NO!

Before she knew what she was doing, she fired the gun over and over again. Even though they fired back at her, she remained standing. She never realized how lucky she was. She and Isaac had actually been in several gin fights in the past. Despite it being a 5 on 1 battle, she was victorious.

With all of them laying on the floor, she ran over to Isaac, tears streaming down her cheeks. She laid her head on his bare chest and cried. There were shard tools next to him and red lines across his chest where his purple shirt had been cut open. As she wet his chest with her tears, he tried to say something like 'I'm not dead, just sleeping' but it came out slurred and mumbled.

Miria was excited that he was alive and tried to unleash him from the metal staps that held him in place, but they wouldn't budge. She got frustrated with the lack of success. She walked away and slammed her fists on the keyboard of the computer behind her. After a second she heard a loud click

She turned around to find Isaac released. 'See,' she thought to herself, 'now that we are together, everything is going good again.'

As soon as she saw that he was released, she ran over to him. Although she tried to help him up, all she managed to do was roll him onto the floor. Hooking her arms under his, she wrapped her hands around his chest. While she was stronger than she looked, it was incredibly difficult to lift him.

Donny and his brothers had been fighting their way through the weird building. What he wouldn't give to play with the aliens technology. He was very worried about Isaac and Miria. He was about to say something when a weird coincidence happened.

Miria had a barely lucid Isaac hanging on her shoulders. Leo relieved her of him. "What happened?" asked Mickey. Miria raised her shoulders and shook her head.

It was at that moment that Donny noticed the two guns strapped to her back. A hundred possibilities ran through his guns strapped to but he had no time to really thing about them. Leo gave Isaac to Raph and took the lead as they continued looking for the exit.

Isaac was slowly gaining his motor abilities back but still not enough to run. It didn't take them long to reach the door to that they thought led out. Out of nowhere another hybrid popped out of nowhere. Donny vaguely wondered how they did it. "How do they even come up these things!?" yelled Mickey.

It wasn't long after the fight started that lazer beams were fired. Her turned around to find Isaac on laying on the ground and Miria with one of the ray runs in her hands. The look on her face was surprisingly fierce. The battle didn't last much longer.

Once they were outside, the turtles offered to take Isaac back, or find him some medical help or something but Miria insisted that she could handle it.

When a dramatic hand waving, she enthusiastically said goodbye, and helped Isaac as they walked away.

"Think you'll be OK?" asked Mikey. "I'm sure they'll be fine." answered Leo.


End file.
